He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Shame - the story of my life.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
