He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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