why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
