i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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