Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize