I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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