Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
