I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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