at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
