Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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