We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
