Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
