I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
