you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
