i think my mom watched the whole time
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
