What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
