I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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