I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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