On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
