dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
