i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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