I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
