i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
