So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
