Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
