Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize