I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
