Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
