So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
