Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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