i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
