she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
