then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
