Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
