guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
