I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
