yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
