Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
