Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
