NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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