True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
