is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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