drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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