Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
