OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
BRING THE BAGELS
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