fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
