he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
