mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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