is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
