My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
