uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
