She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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