She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
