So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
