No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
