I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
