The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize