i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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