So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
