Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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