Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Randomize
